rambling ramblings

So my surgery stuff got turned into insurance on Friday. I'm so impatient. I want to call and check on it already. I just want some sort of closure on all this. Would be nice to have my surgery before Jan.

I am becoming a man hater. I know its wrong, but its true. I don't want to be one, but I think it is ineveitable.

And just some advice to the general public...WIPE YOUR ASS!!! Shit in your butt crack is very unsexy. Seriously. Guys think fat is unsexy. Try looking at a glop of shit all sticky and nasty in someones butt crack. Kind of kills the mood.

LOVE IT

I have found a new blog that I just love. It is "Food, Fatness, and life after RNY". I have been watching Monica on you tube, but just now discovered her blog she started after her recent surgery. I know NO ONE reads my blog, and that just might be ok, but if someone does read this, check her out. There's a link to her blog in my "blog list" on the side. She is beautiful, funny, and freaking smart!!!! I am pretty much done with the you tube thing. Will most likely take my videos down and just subscribe to lebronjamesblitz and icanhascheeseburger. I was looking at "Working on Freedom" blog, who also has you tube videos. She put a video on her blog, maybe I will do that. Maybe not, who knows, who cares. Not going to stress about it.

More sex dreams

I don't know whats going on, but by the end of the playoffs I should have had a sex dream about everyone one of the Cavs. Maybe even Mike Brown the way I'm going. Last night it was Sasha, and it was GOOD! So crazy. Not sure what this says about me, but I'm just going to enjoy it in my dreams since I'm not getting any in real life.

AH HA

I had a bit of an AH HA moment the other night. It actually turned into a bit of an emotional meltdown. I have let my mom and dad effect so many aspects of my life. There is so much of what they didn't give me that I needed. It finally all came to a head the other night. I brought all of out and confronted myself about it. I acknowledged the impact it was having. Now it's time to take my life back, and provide all those things for myself. Nuture myself.